Thursday, June 5, 2014

When 0330 is sweet

God has blessed us with a (so far) good sleeper. More nights than not, she sleeps from 8:00 to 6:30 without a sound. So, as a typical sinner, I get used to the blessing of it, stop thanking God for it, and when she gives me a rough night (wakes me more than once), I'm grouchy.

So, this morning, when she startled me from sleep at 3:30, I wasn't thrilled. But she wasn't just hungry fussy... she was really crying. Pain or fear I didn't know what and I hurried to her room, twisting up a quick topknot, as those little fingers are quite skillful at yanking it out.

Her tear-filled eyes glistened from the nightlight and her swaddle was a loose sack around her. I pulled her free, expecting her to start trying to nurse (shoulder, neck, or wrist, if it's mommy's skin, surely it will produce milk!). But she didn't. She nuzzled close, arms up. If they were longer, they would have probably clasped around my neck. I held her close against the coolness of the room and started to rewrap her, then decided against it. She was so glad that I was there. I wanted to hold her against me... not the soft burrito she becomes when she's swaddled.

So, we rocked. And rocked. It took 45 minutes to get her back to sleep. But she was a warm little body of coziness, content to just be. I would glance down occasionally, only to see two dark, wide open orbs gazing at me or around the room, little hands splayed against my collarbone. And I wasn't even halfway sleepy. I tried to bury the feeling of fulfillment deep, deep into my long term memory box. These days will be over soon. Very, very soon. A crawler, then a toddler... and just sitting in my lap isn't going to be  desirable when the whole house is your's to explore.

Baby daughter, let's just freeze time. Right here. At 3:30 am. I'll rock you forever and my wee little child you'll always be.


elliebird said...

well that just made me cry. i want that.

Ted Freeman said...

Treasure these memories....while you continue to make even more. God is so kind.