Thursday, August 23, 2012

dramatic reading

Monday, I mowed our grass. 

That is all.

No, wait!! Come back!! I'll give you a horse! (name the movie?)

So, yes, I mowed our new lawn. It was getting pretty ragged and I didn't want our new neighbors to assume that we didn't care about the appearance of our yard. So, I filled up the tank and attempted to crank it on Thursday. Nope. Jim came home and told me that the fuel was probably old and he would have to siphon it out and put fuel stabilizer in it and the same goes for the other mower. So, no mowing on Friday as he couldn't do it Thursday  night. I peered from our windows all day Friday, just knowing that every neighbor that walked by was hating our guts. How dare we destroy the appearance of this place! 

So, Friday evening, he fixes it and we swear an oath to get up early and mow. Saturday morning came and we did not get up early. But, that's because it rained all day.

So, Monday. Forget tag-teaming! I'm doing this! With my single-lane, push mower! I dressed up like Rosie the Riveter and got started!

And continued.

Still pushing.

Getting dirty.

Take a break. Now go back out and keep going.
Getting blisters.

Getting stinky.

Getting tired. Lunch break.

It's never going to be done.

Why did I decide to do this?!!

I wish I could die!!

Oh. I'm done. That only took six hours.
However, I cannot be done. You see, right after lunch, I walked back out and 'click.' Lovely. I thought back to that morning. I remembered my husband saying, "I'll be late today because our flight isn't until the afternoon." As if on cue, as I frantically jiggled the doorknob, the familiar drone of his plane roared overhead. I ran out of the garage and waved, wishing I could send up flares. "Help me! I'm an idiot and locked myself out of the house! Please land ASAP and come let me in! I can't make supper from the yard!"

So, I edged the sidewalk, weeded the flower beds, and was about to start sweeping the driveway, when he pulled up. And it wasn't late at all! I knew this because I had walked around and tried all the windows and doors and realizing it was useless, had resigned myself to occasionally peering through the deck door at the kitchen clock. He said the plane had broken which, obviously, cut their flight time short. Thank you, God! Breaking the plane was a little dramatic, but thank you! 

It was a long day and I slept very good, no longer afraid of malicious neighbors.

P.S. Please know that we are not in any danger from our neighbors. Any warmongering I mentioned is  imagined. In fact, the ones we have met are lovely.

P.P.S We only have to cut our grass 4 times a year. So, my complaining is really null and void.


Alisa said...

Ever After.

and that is my final answer.

Amy said...

And I should't have to prove that I'm not a robot on my own blog.

Meryl said...

Looks very nice:-) But if you lived in Maine you wouldn't ever think of locking your door....maybe not even closing it;-)

Meryl said...

By the way...I'm beginning to question my humanity. It takes me at least 3 tries to prove I'm not a robot!

Ted said...

I guess we shoulda looked for a goat not a dog....

Chelsea said...

Amy you are hilarious!
It sounds like such an adventure!