Tuesday, July 26, 2011


I've been in this house for nine months. The whole time I've been promising myself that I would eventually clean out that bedroom. When wifehood hit, this house saw a flurry of unpacking, rearranging, softening, coloring, and organizing (well, I thought I was organizing... turns out I was just losing everything: Two months after decluttering and Jim goes, "Have you seen the little black cord that I use to keep in the corner? In the pile of cords?" Oopsie. Oh...yeah. The cord. I put it in a much more organized place. I just can't remember where that place is at the moment.). At least, most of the house. One room was so chaotic I just couldn't bring myself to fix it. In fact, I added to its turmoil by throwing some of my own stuff in there. I'd do it later, I said. For now... just don't open that door!

Well, we have company coming this weekend and we're going to need it. Yesterday we pushed open the door and groaned.

Now granted, this picture was taken after some of the
boxes had already vomited their contents onto the floor.
My stuff had already been sorted through, thrown out and repacked. So... it was all HIS. Oh, the stuff we found! Report cards from first grade up, newspaper clippings listing his name on the honor roll from first grade up, tapes with songs he had recorded from the radio (I just dated my generation), computer games, and several Lego models, complete with all parts. There was a remote control car, a rocket, and multiple baseballs, tennis balls, a go-cart helmet, a baseball helmet, a motorcycle helmet and a pilot's helmet. A bag full of ski gear and a bag filled with boy scout uniforms. Photo albums by the droves, math medals, a box full of random shoes, walkie talkies that still worked, a walkman, a discman, and a tie with soccer balls on it. A wind-up monkey. I am not even kidding. Welcome home banners. Congratulation banners. High school graduation cards and programs. Pens, pencils, erasers, crayons, and rubber bands by the pound. Homework and floppy discs (which we threw away, just so you know). I could continue, but I'll stop. Oh, wait. The plastic eagle Auburn hat and the sombrero. How could I forget those?

For your enjoyment, here is a picture of Jim wearing the sombrero AND the eagle headgear, with his highly stylish Christmas sweatshirt (those are tigers wearing Santa hats, folks), clutching his remote control convertible and wearing a pair of random shoes. Beside him is his wife with an Airman hat, ski goggles, and math medals (three medals, mind you! Don't challenge her... I mean, her husband's number skills) around her neck. She is ready for anything in her military boots. Together they have good communication, thanks to those walkie talkies.

But probably the most enjoyable moments were finding some of Jim's book reports from elementary school. I think the word limit for them was twenty. I think he should ditch flying an airplane and become a writer.... but I might be a little biased.

1) "Woof the Seeing Eye Dog" by Denae Dobson - Woof had been doing things he wasn't supposed to. Woof led a blind lady whose dog was sick. It taught Woof a lesson not to be bad.
I'm confused. Did he lead her in front of a car?

2) "The Fire Engine Book" by Jesse Younger - This book is about a fire engine. There was a fire. They got the fire out.
The end. Sheesh. Who writes these dumb books?

3) "Truck" by Donald Crews - This book is about trucks.
Little Jimmy had mastered the art of stating the obvious. He was trying to help his teacher at least notice the obvious.

4) "The Never Sink Nine Slugger Mike" by Gibbs Davis - This book was about baseball. It was about two boys. They were friends. Their names were Mike and Walter. They thought they weren't friends. But at the end they were friends.
Phew! I'm glad that's settled!

5) "Lions and Tigers" by Elizabeth Kaufman - This books is about tigers and lions. It told how heavy they are. They like to play. Lions like to climb and tigers like to swim.
Jim - Pretty clever, huh? Switching it from "lions and tigers" to "tigers and lions."

6) "How Honu the Turtle Got His Shell" by Casey A. McGuire-Turcotte - The story was about a turtle. He had a friend named Mahi-Mahi. He was a dolphin.
Apparently, how Honu got his shell wasn't that important.

7) "The Haunted Forest" by G. Warren Schloat, Jr. - This book is about a boy named Andy. He met a basketball tree. He met lots of other trees.
A basketball tree?

And my personal favorite...
8) "Curious George Gets a Medal" by H.A. Rey - Some people asked Curious George to test a rocket. He did it. And he got a medal.
This is ridiculous. I'm going to read The Count of Monte Cristo.


pamphlet said...

War Eagle!

Ted said...

Book reports by a math major - whaddidya 'spect? Concise, efficient, don't waste words. But now the sweatshirt..... one of Mom's favorites!

Meryl said...

Oh my! I don't remember those book reports. But I laughed so hard my stomach hurts and tears are running down my face! He gets his eloquence from his mom. All the other stuff you mentioned, however, I do remember. Glad you're making room for us!