Tuesday, July 26, 2011


I've been in this house for nine months. The whole time I've been promising myself that I would eventually clean out that bedroom. When wifehood hit, this house saw a flurry of unpacking, rearranging, softening, coloring, and organizing (well, I thought I was organizing... turns out I was just losing everything: Two months after decluttering and Jim goes, "Have you seen the little black cord that I use to keep in the corner? In the pile of cords?" Oopsie. Oh...yeah. The cord. I put it in a much more organized place. I just can't remember where that place is at the moment.). At least, most of the house. One room was so chaotic I just couldn't bring myself to fix it. In fact, I added to its turmoil by throwing some of my own stuff in there. I'd do it later, I said. For now... just don't open that door!

Well, we have company coming this weekend and we're going to need it. Yesterday we pushed open the door and groaned.

Now granted, this picture was taken after some of the
boxes had already vomited their contents onto the floor.
My stuff had already been sorted through, thrown out and repacked. So... it was all HIS. Oh, the stuff we found! Report cards from first grade up, newspaper clippings listing his name on the honor roll from first grade up, tapes with songs he had recorded from the radio (I just dated my generation), computer games, and several Lego models, complete with all parts. There was a remote control car, a rocket, and multiple baseballs, tennis balls, a go-cart helmet, a baseball helmet, a motorcycle helmet and a pilot's helmet. A bag full of ski gear and a bag filled with boy scout uniforms. Photo albums by the droves, math medals, a box full of random shoes, walkie talkies that still worked, a walkman, a discman, and a tie with soccer balls on it. A wind-up monkey. I am not even kidding. Welcome home banners. Congratulation banners. High school graduation cards and programs. Pens, pencils, erasers, crayons, and rubber bands by the pound. Homework and floppy discs (which we threw away, just so you know). I could continue, but I'll stop. Oh, wait. The plastic eagle Auburn hat and the sombrero. How could I forget those?

For your enjoyment, here is a picture of Jim wearing the sombrero AND the eagle headgear, with his highly stylish Christmas sweatshirt (those are tigers wearing Santa hats, folks), clutching his remote control convertible and wearing a pair of random shoes. Beside him is his wife with an Airman hat, ski goggles, and math medals (three medals, mind you! Don't challenge her... I mean, her husband's number skills) around her neck. She is ready for anything in her military boots. Together they have good communication, thanks to those walkie talkies.

But probably the most enjoyable moments were finding some of Jim's book reports from elementary school. I think the word limit for them was twenty. I think he should ditch flying an airplane and become a writer.... but I might be a little biased.

1) "Woof the Seeing Eye Dog" by Denae Dobson - Woof had been doing things he wasn't supposed to. Woof led a blind lady whose dog was sick. It taught Woof a lesson not to be bad.
I'm confused. Did he lead her in front of a car?

2) "The Fire Engine Book" by Jesse Younger - This book is about a fire engine. There was a fire. They got the fire out.
The end. Sheesh. Who writes these dumb books?

3) "Truck" by Donald Crews - This book is about trucks.
Little Jimmy had mastered the art of stating the obvious. He was trying to help his teacher at least notice the obvious.

4) "The Never Sink Nine Slugger Mike" by Gibbs Davis - This book was about baseball. It was about two boys. They were friends. Their names were Mike and Walter. They thought they weren't friends. But at the end they were friends.
Phew! I'm glad that's settled!

5) "Lions and Tigers" by Elizabeth Kaufman - This books is about tigers and lions. It told how heavy they are. They like to play. Lions like to climb and tigers like to swim.
Jim - Pretty clever, huh? Switching it from "lions and tigers" to "tigers and lions."

6) "How Honu the Turtle Got His Shell" by Casey A. McGuire-Turcotte - The story was about a turtle. He had a friend named Mahi-Mahi. He was a dolphin.
Apparently, how Honu got his shell wasn't that important.

7) "The Haunted Forest" by G. Warren Schloat, Jr. - This book is about a boy named Andy. He met a basketball tree. He met lots of other trees.
A basketball tree?

And my personal favorite...
8) "Curious George Gets a Medal" by H.A. Rey - Some people asked Curious George to test a rocket. He did it. And he got a medal.
This is ridiculous. I'm going to read The Count of Monte Cristo.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

patience is a virtue... just not hers

Jim just reminded me of this quote from Alisa, sister-dear.

Sunday we were at the Woodley family reunion. The FINAL announcement (hahaha! That's just a little inside joke. You see, the announcement woman is never ever done making announcements. Everyone is happily putting some south in their mouth, talking, and laughing and in the background you can hear her attempting to tell everyone to make sure you sign the book, to raise your hand to vote on something, to make sure you take your dishes home... etc.) was to let the people with younger children and the slower, much older people go first in the food line.

That was at 12:01.
At 12:03...

Alisa - Okay. Let's go get in line! I'm hungry!
Jim - We're supposed to wait!
Alisa - The old people have had their chance! Let's go!

Monday, July 18, 2011

snowball fighting sock monkeys

You know it's time to do the laundry when your husband is wearing his Christmas boxers.

Sorry, babe.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

1) ... ... ...

I just found this as a draft in my blog archives.

It was from November 2008.

It's Thanksgiving! And you know what that means... another list!
I am thankful for


It's rather funny. Or sad. I can't decide. I am of the opinion that I was called away from the computer and never allowed to finish it. I am not of the opinion that I sat there in silence, trying to be thankful for just one thing.

Monday, July 4, 2011

words now

Well, you've seen the pictures of the Creeper. Now for some memories.

It was wonderful. Seriously. It had been about ten years since we had last been to our well-beloved bike trail with the Meeks. Families change a lot in ten years, let me tell you.

1) Anna grew up. From the six year old who really didn't help at all to Mom's right hand sixteen year-old woman.
2) Jeff was the old son-in-law with three years of wife-experience
3) Jason and Jim were the newbies at 11 and 7 months.
4) Mom and Dad only have two more years of homeschooling left
5) Mr. Steve and Mrs. Debbie had been done for about 6 years
6) I realized that Anna isn't just my little sister anymore. She's my friend.
7) The boys (Ryan, Caleb, Asa and Jon) are now desired company. They like to sit around a fire and talk
8) We've all grown up. And whether I like it or not I wouldn't miss it for the world

Somethings don't change:

1) The word camping causes all males to forget how to use their razors
2) We still love four-square. As silly of a game as it looks, we are all secretly out for blood.
3) Dad and Uncle Greg's ongoing fight over how to build a fire. They nearly caught the campground on fire one morning. Ask them for the story.
4) Mom and Mrs. Debbie's organization skills still blow my mind. I kept a running list of things I forgot.
5) Satan is always wandering to and fro seeking whom he may devour. The constant fight is exhausting... but the small daily victories make it worth it.

Memorable moments:

1) When the rain came - I wish I had had a video camera set up. We were all gathered around the table and the fire, eating Alisa's delicious minestrone soup and listening to the rumble of thunder overhead and the wind....?.... in the trees. Wind? I think that's rain. No, it's wind, look at the trees bowing down. No, it's rain and it's getting louder. Here it comes. You know, I think you're right. It does sound like rain. I know I'm right! There it is!! AUGH!
And everyone ran for their life as if they were the Wicked Witch of the West. It happened in a matter of seconds. Everyone standing calmly around debating philosophical issues -blink- everyone running towards their personal shelter, chair in one hand, bowl of soup in the other. I was blessed to be in my own campsite, just a few feet from our stretched-out tarp. I laughed heartily at the hastily scattered folk.

2) Jeff's vast wife-experience - Another rain incident. Once again, we were standing around a campfire roasting smores. For some people, roasting a perfect marshmallow is a work of art. Alisa's art was nearing perfection when the rain came through the woods around us. We were a little more prepared for it this time. A few ran, but others just tucked themselves deeper into their ponchos and umbrellas shot out of nowhere. Alisa, seeing the swelling golden mass on her stick was afraid to move as the raindrops tickled her face. "Jeff! Quick! Bring me a graham cracker with chocolate! It's going to fall off!" Jeff, just feeling the wet himself, jumped to his feet, grabbed his chair, and took off.... towards his campsite. "I'll see you in the truck, honey!" he called. Alisa watched his retreating back in disbelief, her hair sticking to her face from the rain. I grabbed a graham with some chocolate and handed it to her. As she smooshed down the marshmallow she muttered, "He can sleep in that truck, too."

3) Asa's correction - My little brother gave me a needed kick in the pants. There were hurt feelings, expectations weren't being met, and a few grumpy faces. I voiced a snide remark, hidden in a "righteous attitude." Asa called me out privately. With a few simple words he told me that I was the one adding to the problem, that I knew what I was saying was wrong and to not say it again. I was ashamed. It's always embarrassing when someone younger than you puts you in your place and you know they're right. By the grace of God, I reacted humbly and apologized quickly. Thank you, Asa.

4) Bus driver's wisdom - We shuttled up to the top of the mountain to ride down it. Um... I mean, we shuttled DOWN the mountain and then rode up it! Yeah. Because, well, you know that only sissies coast down a mountain. Anyway, our driver was answering Jeff's question regarding the frequency of droughts. "Well, we've been getting a lot of rain this year. We do get droughts a good bit. Well, we haven't had one in the last five years or so. We've had lots of rain so... no drought. Now, when it stops raining that's when we have a drought."

5)Slugs - Our campsite was infested with them. We learned that slugs love: Pringles, other dead slugs, and our flip flops. Every morning there would be 2-4 gray blobs on our flip flops. Jim even hung them off of our tent and they still found them, the silver trails of ooze showing us their path up our tent. So one night I sprinkled a ring of salt around our shoes. Take that, you little cannibals! The next morning we gazed in disbelief: Apparently, salt doesn't deter them. It was like the would hit the first few grains of it, realize they were starting to melt, and crawl through the rest of it, like a soldier in the mud. When a slug melts, it turns orange. They would continue to crawl and melt all the way to our flip flops. There they would die, apparently at peace that they had accomplished their goal. So instead of easily flick-offable alive slugs, we had orange, gooey trails of leftover slugs. It was lovely.

And the list would continue. But I'm going to bed. Good night.