Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What it's like

Hello. I am still alive.... I've just been undergoing some changes.


For one thing: I am now married. For real. This translates into several things:
a) I have a new name. It's rather strange to get used to
b) My home is now with him
c) I am no longer a virgin. I know, I know... your parents might not let you hang out with me anymore
d) There isn't a d. But four points look so much more intellectual than three

For another thing: I am in charge of cooking. No more sous chefing for me. I am in charge of menus, grocery lists, timing, knowing if the pork is done or not, and figuring out a gas stove.

C. I am learning how to sleep with someone else. I mean sleep. It's kind of hard. He keeps talking in his sleep and hitting me. I, suddenly, have to pee at 2:40. What's with that? I have never had to pee in the middle of the night and before we got married, he never hit me!

4. I am so overwhelmed by the generosity of people right now (translation: AUGGGGHHH!!! THANK YOU NOTES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!).

E. I have a husband. What?! Get out of town! No, for real. Allow me to talk about him. The man has become my spiritual leader. He is always asking me if I have spent time with God today and encouraging me to do so if I haven't. He'll just up and out of the blue ask if there is anything
about which he could pray for me. He loves sitting down and just talking about something he has realized, or something that he's been dwelling on, or something that he heard that day. And he loves to talk with me. Not TO me. WITH me. His utter delight at conversation warms my heart. He is actually the one who makes me stop what I'm doing and just talk. Last night he wouldn't let me get up to help him clean the dishes because he wanted me to keep talking. I guess chores do distract me from verbalizing my feelings.
Jim is affectionate in public. Some of you know that this was not an easy adjustment for me. I was like, "Don't hug me! We're in the grocery store!" or, "No. No kiss. We're right outside our friends' house!" But now... I'm learning to love it! It's so.... so.... territorial doesn't seem the right word, but there is a protection that I feel when he kisses me. I can almost hear him saying to everyone around us, "This is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone." It's quite a tingly feeling. I love him so.

And last but not least, I have a new home. Meaning I am being allowed to consider curtains, clocks, wall hangings, and a few new pieces of furniture! But first, I have to finish unpacking.

Friday, October 8, 2010

[ ... ]

To my family:

Family, according to Noah Webster in 1828 meant "The collective body of persons who live in one house and under one head or manager; a household, including parents, children and servants, and as the case may be, lodgers or boarders."

Oh, Noah. You know family means so much more than that.

This can't be long. It's THE WORK DAY, after all.

I just wanted to say that I love each and everyone one of you and am going to miss this home. The chaos of dinnertime. The impossibility to sleep in when your bedroom is under the kitchen. Being woken up with a chore list (well.... I don't know if I'll miss THAT). And I'll stop now before I ramble.

I can't say anything else, precious ones. My fingers are just sitting on the keyboard as my emotions well over in my eyes. I hope my love is silently understood... because making it audible is impossible right now.