Friday, April 24, 2009

a point for Screwtape

I just kicked a hole in the wall in anger.

I have never in my life done that before... and I don't think I'll ever do it again.

Because I feel like such a fool right now. It felt so good to kick it.... for about 7 seconds. Then it just stared at me, a jagged, gaping mouth in our once smooth wall, proof that I had really done such a childish thing. I couldn't fix it, we don't have any of the stuff. And yeah, I can try to apologize for the disrespectful words that came out of my mouth, but I still said them. They still hurt you. I still destroyed the peace of the evening. So, in the morning, I've got to look at that stupid hole again ... a reminder of what a wretched sinner I am.... and why I need Jesus so very, very much.


amelie said...

dang it, amy. i was just wanting a wall to kick. now i feel bad.

Roads & Bridges said...

wow. i never thought you would be capable of such an aggressive behavior. amy porter - kicking a hole in the wall.....yeah, it just doesn't fit.
oh i guess there is one thing that you've done that i haven't. ;)

love you. and hope your wall gets fixed. ...not before i see it, though.

Amy said...

too late.

on to june said...

Amy, you are one of my favorite people ever. You are so transparent. If only the rest of the Body of Christ would get to confessing their hole kicking, we could begin to understand how important community is to our survival. Everyone kicks holes in walls; too bad we spend more time and effort trying to cover the holes than connecting with each other in the moments after we've made them. Think what would happen if we actually started confessing our sins and shortcomings to one another. Your forthcoming nature holds the potential to set free people who are captive to the church myth that our testimony is dependent on our perceived perfection. The Lord's favor is definitely upon you. :)

Dennis said...

Dear 'on to june' may I have permission to quote you in a Sunday School class?? Briefly covering confession and you have just summarized the all of what I wanted to convey!! Please?

on to june said...

feel free. consider it public domain. :)