Tuesday, February 3, 2009

you know this already

I've been closely observing daily motherly duties recently:

You all know I cannot wait to be a mother. I CANNOT wait. I mean... obviously, I have to, but I'm really really really looking forward to it. I mean, REALLY. Okay, you get the picture.

But I get worried every now and then. Can I make it? Can I do it? Will I be able to teach and clean and cook and feed and encourage and love and support and sacrifice and cook and clean and bandage and discipline and submit and clothe and love? And feed? And clean? And be a hostess? And live abundantly?

As I watch my Mom, day in and day out, get up, do school, clean the house, wash the never ending Everest of clothing, come up with another meal plan, attend her duties at our church, take us to events, give up what she wants.... I get scared. I have come to realize recently that I am not nearly as compassionate and unselfish as I (very arrogantly) once believed. Am I prepared? Am I preparing myself? Do I really want this? I will have to give up pretty much all of my wants and my expectations to meet those of a husband and children. Suddenly, I realize why women screeched so loudly that they were sick of this and that THEY could hold down a job just as well as HE could! Bringing home the bacon couldn't be any harder than this! Hire a nanny and get me out of here!!
So, sometimes I..... I..... sshhhh, don't tell anyone. Sometimes, I... hate the Proverbs 31 woman. Hate her.

She works willingly always. Her lamp doesn't go out at night (yet, she has children... when did that occur?). Her husband praises her always. She makes clothing for everyone and their mothers. She probably had amazing hair too. Why did God put this in the Bible? To make it completely unattainable?

And yet... even though I know that I will have many many days of burned dinners, screaming toddlers, an upset husband, a disgusting house, and hardly any clean clothes, and that I will possibly never hold a candle to Ms. Proverbs.... I want to do it. I want to help a man raise many children to bear the image of God. I want him to go to work and come home to a full house. I want to stay home to teach and hold them. Just like my parents have. Because, to quote a college advisor, I "don't think there's a more noble goal than that."

9 comments:

Dodger of Sheep said...

And yet, despite the seeming impossibility of it all, millions of women do it every day.

I guess it's sort of like eating an elephant.

Table of Stone said...

Oh my gosh!!! I have the same feelings all the time. I feel so inadequate and when I watch my mom, I think...I could never do that. But I WANT to and I think that is what will make the difference for us...the want to.

Elyow'eynay said...

Well if it makes you feel any better, the man's example of who he is supposed to live up to as a husband is Christ. Try fillin' those shoes.

But I think that the point of it is not to be exactly like that women but to aspire to be like that woman. But all of it in your own way. You may be so productive that you don't need to keep your lamp lit all night. It's not supposed to be something daunting or dreadful, but a way of encouraging women, and also a way of slapping the over-macho man in the face and saying "Hey....look at all what your wife does for you, don't take her for granted."

Maybe that will give you a better feeling about the Proverbs woman.

And ouch Graham. I wouldn't go as far as to say that millions of women live up to that standard.
There are some great ones though. But again, all in their own way.

Elyow'eynay said...

Oh and by the way...where is the link to my blog on your page?
Very uncouth if you ask me.

Oh and my word verification is "Concepo" which sounds like a Harry Potter spell that will immediately conjure a concept for any given situation. Think about it.

Dodger of Sheep said...

So you would say that out of the three billion women on this planet, not even a million or so live up to the high and mighty calling of Mom?

That being said, I don't mean to belittle it at all. It is a high calling. The highest. And yes, it seems daunting, but I was merely pointing out that any task seems daunting when you look at it in its entirety like that. You just have to go one step at a time. God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.

And my word is "trafrer". Like "tracer" with a lisp.

Elyow'eynay said...

No I don't think that was what she was talking about was so high and mighty. She was talking about the description of the woman in Proverbs 31 which is not applicable to just every woman who has a child. It's a woman who not only runs her house extraordinarily well, but also honors her husband tremendously, and is productive outside the house as well as in.

That's something that I wouldn't attribute to a "million"

Dodger of Sheep said...

Well I didn't mean just any woman who has a kid.
And I'm not sure I understand you...how could the woman described here not be following a high and mighty calling?
I admit wholeheartedly that these qualities are rare, that the women who have them are valued far above rubies, but my main point is that they are not unattainable, and probably more women have them than you seem to think.

Elyow'eynay said...

No I DO think the woman in proverbs is a High and Mighty calling. That's what I was saying. It seemed to come across that you were implying that every mom met the standards in proverbs 31 mom, the high and mighty ones. You said that out of 3 billion women there had to be women that met the high and mighty calling of "mom". I was just saying that "mom" can be a crackwhore, which is not proverbs 31, or a high and mighty kind of mom like prov. 31.
Oh and i agree that they are not unattainable, i was just merely saying that every super-mom out there meets them in ways other than the list in proverbs 31. That there are mom's that truly live up to the name, probably numerous ones, but they may not be the cooker cutter image of prov. 31, but they are still treasured beyond rubies.

So i think we agree.
We just have a problem with symantics.

Word verification is "preed" which is strikingly similar to "breed" which is interesting since we're talking about motherhood. So this must be a sign that we are to just shut up and breed.

Case closed.

Dodger of Sheep said...

I agree wholeheartedly with your closing statement. If we were all out breeding instead of arguing on the internet, the world would be a much happier (and more crowded) place.