Sunday, April 20, 2008

sickness of the tougher, dominant sex

My Dad is sick. And I feel very sorry for him.... but it's freaking hilarious. I will quote him from 2 minutes ago: " Well, I have been vomiting for the last 48 hours and having diarrhea for the last 46." I mean... he's not counting or anything. And 20 minutes ago: "Man! I feel terrible." And 24 minutes ago, " I am so tired of throwing up." And 32 minutes ago, "Well, I guess I'll go to bed for 4 or 5 hours and then be up the rest of the night." We know Dad. You are sick. Don't misunderstand me... we are taking care of him, we are sympathetic, we are loving. But I have to keep fummling (haha! or muffling, whichever spelling you prefer!) the desire to laugh out loud. And the man will NOT stay in his room. There are seven healthy people in this house and we would really like to keep it that way. I just disinfected every surface possible and now he's leaning on the bar again. And using a different bathroom. One word. Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E.

He skipped church today.... we came home this evening and I heard Mom say, "Dennis? Why is the bologna out?"
And he goes, "I thought I would try to eat some."
Dad, if Sprite and saltine crackers go straight through.... I really don't want to hear what bologna does.

6 comments:

Dodger of Sheep said...

Three posts in one day. That's got to be some kind of record.

Amy said...

2 days. And blogging relieves stress. You should try it.

s. wells said...

men are bad at being sick

Dodger of Sheep said...

Oh, right. I always get 19 and 20 confused. It's something I've struggled with since I was a child.

Melissa said...

That is so funny! My husband is the same way when he is sick. He groans around saying he's dying. Hope he feels better.

on to june said...

Hey S. Wells, women are bad at driving. And since I only get sick once a year, tops, and I have to drive pretty much every day, I'm thinking we men are in the enviable position.