Sunday, March 2, 2008

Guns and textbooks

I studied outside this afternoon. Because I couldn't stand NOT to. It was a glorious day. The hated-deck-dwelling squirrel must have acclimated to my presence, because he left his nest and climbed down the bannister. And I, being the compassionate person that I am, ran inside and called for Caleb to get the gun. Even after going to Montevallo, where squirrels intentionally divebomb from trees or throw acorns at you, I don't have a particular hatred against their species. But this squirrel left the natural desire of trees and commited the indecent act of building a nest in our deck roof. He is an abomination. And the entire Porter mob is ever waiting and watchful. The gun sits beside the deck door, just one click away from having a bullet in the chamber. But he is a admirable foe. When he leaves, he stays away, knowing that humans are busy creatures and can only watch for his return for so long. And when he does come back, he stays very quiet. And no amount of beating the gutter, roof, or deck posts with brooms can get him out. Which is logical. I mean, if he came out, that would be like leaving your bomb shelter when North Korea attacks. Oh my gosh! I just had a revelation! It isn't a HE at all! It's totally female. Think about it.... when a tornado comes and James Spann tells us to go to our place of safety, the mothers grab the children and the fathers stand outside and watch. Ha.
Anyway... to make a short story long.... I was studying outside and it was lovely. And the bullet is still in the gun.

2 comments:

Dodger of Sheep said...

We also have a squirrel. He lives in our chimney, and since our chimney adjoins the wall of my room, I am very aware of all his comings and goings. He also remains unshot...for now.

Like the new layout.

Roads & Bridges said...

you should be a writer. i love reading your blogs. they are hilarious. i envy you....
<3 e.