Monday, March 31, 2008


So... I went to the dentist today. I was thinking it had been a year. I was totally closing in on two years baby. I am such a rebel. I love the way my teeth feel afterwards. I mean, I avoid eating just to maintain that incredibe slick, naked feeling. I'm hungry right now but no. I will wait.
Know what cracks me up about dentists? They just chatter away and ask you questions all the while scraping and rubbing and picking. And your answers sound something like this:
"Yaxth. Ah ra torted scools in jenooere."
"U now lak Jen Osten? Eets lak tat. Verr pritee."
" Hee ees duning great. Coom n gu, coom n gu."
And the most amazing thing is that they can understand you completely! They comment about your answers!

And still no cavities. Boo-yah.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Why humans deserve hell

If you aren't going to listen, why do you keep calling?

It's because you know my parents are right. Isn't it?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

and stop. now. please.

I was walking behind two girls in my nursing class the other day. I do not know them. And (very snobbily) I don't plan on trying to.

Girl 1: Oh my gosh, did you work out?
Girl 2: Hahaha. No I just didn't care.
Girl 1: Well, girl, you look cute.
Girl 2: I mean, I got up this morning and was just like, I don't care. I don't even care. HAHAHA.
Girl 1: I know. HAHAHA. Sometimes I just get out of bed and throw like whatever on ( i could barely hear this part because of the loud bangles coming from her earrings, the clanking chains on her Dooney purse, and the popping of her stilletos)
Girl 1: Oh my God. Hahaha. I think I stepped on my brakes like 400 times this morning. This traffic was like, horrible.
Girl 2: Yeah, hahaha, I was, like, stopped forever on 65.
Girl 1: Yeah, probably 400 times.

The intellectual stimulation is too much. I must stop.

And I want to go swing dancing. Very soon.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Pattertwig and Nutmeg

If you will remember back only a few blogs you will recall the tale of a squirrel and a gun. Mrs. Squirrel had been particularly active this past week and got rather careless. And the war tactics of the Porters had improved. We no longer ran around aimlessly. Two people watched from the deck, one through a scope. Two others ran down the stairs to prevent said squirrel from coming under the carport. I didn't know Asa and Caleb could shoot that well. Dead squirrel. Mission accomplished.

Wait a second..... why would it be in our deck anyway? It was probably building a nest, yeah for like babies and stuff. Oh. Babies. Great.

Baby squirrels are another matter all together. They drink warm milk out of teaspoons. Yes. We killed the mother and are now feeding the offspring. Oh the irony.

Friday, March 21, 2008

if you were chilly, here take my sweater

Last weekend i went to Louisville, KY to visit Ashton and Brian Moats. 6 hours. In the car. With Erin. Heck yeah, we had fun. Let's see... her ipod has at least 4857 songs. We HAD to pass a marine caravan and HAD to check out all the drivers. Then we stopped for gas and lo and behold, so did they. So we had to pass them again. Darn. .
Then we got Happy Meals from McDonalds. This was not our choice of restaurant but Tennessee is seriously lacking in fast food. It was either Hardees, Denny's or McDonalds. Or Hardees. Or Denny's. Oh look, a McDonalds. Again. Anyway, the lady asked us if we wanted girl Happy Meals and that would be a definite yes. We ate our meal then put on our plastic crowns and waved our wands at people we passed. There is a facebook video. Go watch it.

Ashton cooked supper for us and two other guys they had invited over. How much food to cook is a serious question when you are looking at 3 college aged guys and 3 college aged girls. So me, being the one with the vast experience in cooking for large numbers of people, was the one behind the amount of spaghetti that was cooked. Let's just say that Brian and Ashton will have leftovers.... for like the whole week.
We played Malarkey afterwards. Did you know that pirates never made their prisoners walk the plank? It's totally fictional. They just threw them overboard.
Driving back to the hotel and I insisted on a wrong turn, which is why Erin and I got a 30 minute tour of downtown Louisville at midnight. I love that city but one major major complaint is this: hello? road signs? where in the blazes are we? and there's the Louisville Slugger Field... for the third time.
Great weekend, despite the rain. Erin and I went shopping with my aunt Saturday morning. I bought a pair of red heels. Pretty dang hot I must admit. But mostly we just tried on Kentucky Derby Hats. And the rain in spain does stay mainly in the plain.

This is Brian showing us what a deep sleeper Ashton is. Sorry it's so dark. If you listen really hard, you can learn something about Galileo from the history channel. Thanks guys, for making the weekend great. I love ya'll.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

i understand, Laura

Friday night came again. Laura and Carrie washed the dishes as usual. As usual, they brought their books to the lamplit table. Pa was in his chair, reading the paper. Ma was gently rocking and her knitting needles were clicking as they always did. As usual, Laura opened her history book.
Suddenly she could not bear it all. She thrust back her chair, slammed her book shut and thumped it down on the table. Pa and Ma started, and looked at her in surprise.
"I don't care!" she cried out. "I don't want to study! I don't want to learn! I don't want to teach school, ever!"
Ma looked as stern as it was possible for her to look. "Laura," she said, " I know you would not swear, but losing your temper and slamming things is as bad as saying the words. Let us have no more wooden swearing."
Laura did not answer.
"What is the matter, Laura?" Pa asked. "Why don't you want to learn, and to teach school?"
"Oh, I don't know!" Laura said in despair. "I am so tired of everything. I want-I want something to happen. I want to go West. I guess I want to just play, and I know I am too old," she almost sobbed, a thing she never did.
"Why, Laura!" Ma exclaimed.
"Never mind," Pa said soothingly. "You have been studying too hard, that is all."
"Yes, put away your books for this one evening," said Ma. "In the last bundle of Youth's Companions, there are still some stories that we have not read. You may read one to us, Laura, wouldn't you like that?"
"Yes, Ma," Laura answered hopelessly. Even reading a story was not what she wanted. She did not know what she wanted, but she knew she could not have it, whatever it was.

Monday, March 10, 2008

just so you know

Today, I: 1. Had a quiet time that wasn't constricted by time
2. Wrote in my journal (a conversation with a friend made me realize i don't do it enough)
3. Started Mere Christianity on a blanket in the sun (and fought off the dog)
4. Ate 2 pieces of fruit and a salad for lunch
5. Helped Caleb build the future Christmas tree farm barn (farm barn.... ha)
6. Enjoyed listening to a friend giggle about a boy
7. Worked out on the machine
8. Pumped iron
9. Helped Asa study for HIS test
10. Did not touch a textbook
11. Flossed my teeth

Saturday, March 8, 2008

my side and his side

Quote from little sister this evening:
"You know what's weird? When you get married, you'll have to sleep in the same bed with him on your honeymoon."
Darn. Hopefully he'll stay on his side of the bed.

Friday, March 7, 2008

i bet they had amazing arms

Check it out: "And next to him Shallum the son of Hallohesh, the official of half the district of Jerusalem, made repairs, he and his daughters." (Nehemiah 3:12) Official's daughters, probably rich, wall-building women. I hope their husbands appreciated them.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Guns and textbooks

I studied outside this afternoon. Because I couldn't stand NOT to. It was a glorious day. The hated-deck-dwelling squirrel must have acclimated to my presence, because he left his nest and climbed down the bannister. And I, being the compassionate person that I am, ran inside and called for Caleb to get the gun. Even after going to Montevallo, where squirrels intentionally divebomb from trees or throw acorns at you, I don't have a particular hatred against their species. But this squirrel left the natural desire of trees and commited the indecent act of building a nest in our deck roof. He is an abomination. And the entire Porter mob is ever waiting and watchful. The gun sits beside the deck door, just one click away from having a bullet in the chamber. But he is a admirable foe. When he leaves, he stays away, knowing that humans are busy creatures and can only watch for his return for so long. And when he does come back, he stays very quiet. And no amount of beating the gutter, roof, or deck posts with brooms can get him out. Which is logical. I mean, if he came out, that would be like leaving your bomb shelter when North Korea attacks. Oh my gosh! I just had a revelation! It isn't a HE at all! It's totally female. Think about it.... when a tornado comes and James Spann tells us to go to our place of safety, the mothers grab the children and the fathers stand outside and watch. Ha.
Anyway... to make a short story long.... I was studying outside and it was lovely. And the bullet is still in the gun.