Monday, December 24, 2007

Hunting and Riverdance

This morning, I got up at 5:30 and went with Asa, who was hunting. Please notice that I said HE was hunting, not I. Our mission: to kill the buck who has been destroying our Christmas trees. He carried the gun and I carried the seat. And the banana. And the hand warmers. And Jane Eyre….hey, I never said I liked hunting. I had on 3 layers on my legs and 4 on my top and Asa told me that I should probably put on five. Right. I felt like the little boy off the “Christmas Story.” So me and Jane were sitting in a tree house (Ryan’s tree house is amazing; if you are ever at my house, I will take you to see it)…. listening. After sprinkling a container of store bought deer pee, Asa joined us. I offered him some of my banana and he reached for it, drew back, smelled his hands, and said no thanks. Gross. It was so quiet. Except for a 6-dog dogfight that broke out A banana is a lot louder at 6:00 in the morning.
After sitting there for a while, I watched my 15 year old brother climb down and with the two antlers he had brought, he proceeded to do an Indian dance. He was stomping his feet, and banging the antlers and blowing out though his mouth. Every now and then he would scrape them up and down a tree. He said he was making the noises of a deer fight and sometimes other bucks would come running. They didn’t. Or if they did, they stayed far enough back in the woods and laughed at him. Later, Asa was going to do it again, but I wanted to try it, #1: because it looked kind of fun, and #2: I was afraid my butt cheeks were freezing together. So I proceeded to stomp and bang. When I stopped to get a breath , Asa told me to do it less. Basically, “Amy, you sound like a whole freaking herd.” I was having fun. Jane got a little jarred up in my pocket.
When we could no longer feel our toes or fingers we went back home. The tree-killer is still at large. But I’m considering signing up on the Riverdance troupe.

5 comments:

s. wells said...

excellent story!

Brittany said...

You had me in stiches over this story, Miss Amy!

amanda hannah said...

that was a good one. i hope your butt cheeks didn't actually freeze together.

alisa said...

no really people... you should see the video.

Dodger of Sheep said...

But what you didn't know was that deer are all mortally afraid of frozen butt cheeks and they can sense them from a mile away. All that dancing for nothing.